We Are Not Free

“And when I’m done, I tear my self-portrait from my sketchbook and light a match. I set fire to the page and stuff it into the fireplace, where the flames blacken the edges, consuming my Jap skin, my Jap eyes, my family, my friends, my city, my bridge…and we all go up in smoke.”

Minnow struggles with his identity. He has lived in a strong Japanese community in San Francisco all his life, but he sees himself as part of the overall community of San Francisco with its diverse population. Minnow’s world is altered by the hatred focused on his community even though he identifies as no less American than Japanese. With the impending exclusion order, this quote illustrates Minnow’s identity conflict as well as the uncertainty surrounding him, his family, and his community.

“If she could, I bet Yum-yum would tear down the whole city with her music. But by the end, it’s soft again, and her face doesn’t betray any of the violence and turmoil inside her. Standing, she walks into my arms, and I hold her until the truck comes to take her piano away. She doesn’t cry. And I get it, finally. Gaman.”

Shig, like Frankie, is filled with anger when his community receives the exclusion order. He can’t understand the unfair treatment or how the adults can bear this crisis without any resistance. However, when he sees his girlfriend face the loss of her beloved piano, he finally understands the meaning of gaman, and he uses what he learned in a silent protest as he boards the bus with his family a few days later.

“But I don’t want to be Amy Oishi anymore. Amy Oishi is compliant. Her mother is sick and her father is a prisoner and they’ve left her alone to care for her shrinking family. Amy Oishi is trapped. I don’t want to be her. I want to be different. I need to be different. I can’t be the same girl I was on the outside. If that girl is in a detention center, an American citizen imprisoned without trial or even charges, then the world doesn’t make sense. But if I’m someone else, then it’s easier to accept that the world now operates by different rules. Up is down. Wrong is right. Captivity is freedom.”

A lot of unwanted responsibility has been placed on Yum-yum’s shoulders, and she openly resents this. Her father is absent because he was taken by the FBI, but he still encourages her to be an obedient daughter, though he doesn’t know everything that is happening. She resents him and his expectations; she needs someone to be angry with, and the government is too big and too anonymous.