Restart

“It’s the craziest feeling. I remember how to remember, but when I actually try to do it, I’m a blank. I’m like a computer with its hard drive wiped clean. You can reboot it and the operating system works fine. But when you look for a document or a file to open, nothing’s there. Not even my name.”

This is Chase’s moment of recognition in the hospital that he is suffering from amnesia. Throughout the story his memory never fully returns. The progression of the plot centers on his relearning who he was and deciding who he wants to become. He both yearns to be the old Chase and learns to loathe a lot about his past self as well.

“It just started with Chase, Aaron, and Bear. Eventually, though, it spread. The other kids—well, they couldn’t help but notice that every time someone was making a fuss or protesting, stuffed into a locker or mummified with toilet paper, it was my brother. Before you knew it, Joel was the school victim and the school joke. His life was practically unbearable.”

Shoshanna describes the progression of events that led to her brother becoming the prime victim of bullying at Hiawassee. Her depiction of events is extremely realistic. Virtually every school has a student who, like Joel, ends up the butt of every mean prank. In Joel’s case, his parents moved him to a boarding school to escape.

“On the wall are two large framed photographs, and I’m surprised when I identify one of them. It’s on my wall too—part of a newspaper clipping about our football championship last year. It’s me, helmet pushed onto the back of my head, hoisting the trophy. The other is similar, although you can tell it’s a lot older. The pose is almost identical—a young player raising the same trophy. I can’t explain it, but the kid looks sort of familiar.”

Sitting in the principal’s office, Chase sees photos of himself and his father, the heroes of the school’s two state championship football teams. He recognizes this is why he is so important to his football friends and even to the principal and faculty members. It’s also a big part of the reason why Chase gets away with so much mischief.