Jonny Appleseed

Jonny remembers watching his mother put on makeup. She explains to him how to use other makeup products if he runs out of one, such as how to use eyeshadow in place of lipstick and how to use smudging ashes in lieu of perfume. She tells Jonny that to snag a man, the two most important things are “a damn good perfume and a hell of a lot of confidence” (157). Frequently, when both of them are on the phone together, they end up crying.

When a homophobic cousin of Jonny's threatens to assault him, Jordan promises protection, saying “I’ll fix his wagon” (159). Jonny doesn’t take her up on the offer.

Canadian Child Protective Services have removed Jordan’s baby from her care after Jordan did mushrooms at a party.

In Winnipeg, Jonny goes to a party at Jordan’s apartment. People there are drunk on whiskey and attendees are largely Indigenous. They play "Never Have I Ever" (a drinking game) and dance to the Canadian Indigenous eletronica band, A Tribe Called Red. They pray for all the dead people they have ever met and some of them cry. Jonny vogues (a gay cultural dance move pioneered by BIPOC) and the others round dance (an Indigenous dance).

Tias and Jordan help Jonny move to a new apartment. They both bring him housewarming gifts; Tias uses his to flirt with Jonny. After moving in, Jonny buys rum from Peggy, a reservation dealer who knew his grandmother. Peggy sells pain medication she gets from a downtown doctor. Even though she enables others’ addictions, Jonny respects her for supporting herself.

When Peggy arrives, they discuss their planned night out at Fame, a gay bar. After she leaves, the three of them spend time together in Jonny's living room, drinking. Jordan reminds Jonny of his kokum as she gets ready for their night out; she puts on some of his makeup. Tias borrows one of his shirts. Jonny pesters Tias about dancing with him; Tias admits that he loves Jordan.

They call Peggy again for a ride to Fame. There, Tias grinds up against Jonny when Jordan goes outside for a smoke break. Jonny pretends to be engaged (with a fake wedding ring); he tells other people at the bar a sob story about not being able to afford the wedding so that they will buy him drinks. He gets very drunk and is very jealous about how Tias and Jordan are dancing together. He takes a boy to the dance floor and tries to enjoy himself, after which he blacks out.

Jonny comes to in a French neighborhood and a man picks him up bodily; Jonny remembers very little of the rest of the night, though he wakes up in his own bed.

CONTENT NOTE: physical abuse

Jonny remembers how his kokum loved Bee Hive corn syrup. She put the syrup on everything and used it for medical needs like burn care. Because Jonny associates the syrup with her, he takes a spoonful whenever he feels sick or wants to feel her comfort.

After his kokum died, Jonny inherited her handwritten recipes. He decides to make her sweet-and-sour meatballs; the recipe comes from a white family that lived near the reservation.

Jonny tells the story of how his kokum came to have the meatball recipe. The white family came to a funeral for two young boys on the rez with a tray of meatballs, and his kokum wrote down the recipe on a napkin.

Jonny invites Tias over for meatballs. As they cook, they take a cab to Wal-Mart for boxed stuffing. After they eat, they cuddle on the couch and watch a movie on Tias’s phone. As Jonny strokes Tias’s hair, he asks about the scar where no hair grows. Tias tells him that when he was selling chocolates for a school fundraiser, he brought home less money than he should have, and his father physically abused him over the missing $5. His father pulled out a chunk of his hair while abusing him and decided to cut all of his long hair off at the same time.

Jonny remembers that when he sold chocolates for the same fundraiser, his mother would often take the cash and leave unpaid IOUs instead, so he would end up owing his school money until his kokum paid it.

Jonny remembers a group project on Sweden he did in middle school. Each student prepared a Swedish dish, and he volunteered to make rice pudding. His mother often made rice pudding with wild rice on special occasions, like Jonny’s last day of high school. That day, his mom cooked enough rice pudding for the stream of visitors who themselves brought other dishes. They danced and someone played a fiddle.

When Jonny brings his mother’s rice pudding to school, a white girl in his group screams at him for doing it wrong. He tells his mother this, and she makes fake blood pudding for him to bring instead. When the white girl tastes it, she screams again and spits it all over their poster. Jonny gets suspended, but when he tells his mother she smiles.

Jonny leaves Tias’s house and responds to client requests for cam shows. A client asks to meet him, so he goes. The client, Aric, is an older Southeast Asian man who take him out for cheap beer and brings him to his apartment, which is full of books. Aric tops him and ejaculates quickly; afterwards, he tells Jonny he thought he'd be skinnier. Jonny takes his money and leaves.

When Jonny and Tias camp as kids at Hecla, they play ball games. The narrative voice wanders from a description of sweating at the campground to relating an anecdote about Jordan taking Jonny out for a nice dinner after winning big at a bingo game. At the restaurant, Jonny feels underdressed compared to the other patrons; Jordan tells him not to care.

Though the cuisine is similar to what they usually ate on the reservation, they are underwhelmed by the small portions and high cost. They finish their meals, disappointed, and decide to dine-and-dash. Jonny leaves his Snapchat handle on a napkin for their waiter.

When Jonny and Jordan get back to Jordan’s apartment, they are very drunk. They begin to have oral sex until Jonny gets a nosebleed.

The narrative swerves back to pick up the story of having dinner while camping in Hecla. After Tias’s parents fall asleep, he and Jonny go for a night swim at the lake. On the shore, they light sparklers and make out. Jonny bites off some of Tias’s dead skin; Tias pulls away and decides they should go back to camp. They get lost on their way back, as Tias tells Jonny more about his birth sister. Tias starts to cry, and Jonny comforts him. Eventually, they find their way back to camp.