Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

“I hate uncertainty. I hate not knowing. I can’t stand opening myself to getting hurt or being disappointed. It’s excruciating. Vulnerability is complicated. And it’s excruciating. Do you know what I mean?”

The theme of Brown’s research—shame and vulnerability—tend to scare people. When they hear those words, people tend to have an immediate reaction to put their guard up. She uses an active voice to center her own subjectivity as a method of drawing the reader in. To move past people’s defenses, Brown breaks the fourth wall and directly addresses the reader by adding “Do you know what I mean?” This invites the viewer to reflect on how they feel about uncertainty and vulnerability, but it also creates a dialogue between the author and the reader. It is a device to build intimacy and trust through a shared experience. Throughout the book, she includes anecdotes of connecting to people around shared experiences of shame, guilt, and fear.

“The morning after the talk, I woke up with one of the worst vulnerability hangovers of my life. You know that feeling when you wake up and everything feels fine until the memory of laying yourself open washes over you and you want to hide under the covers?”

First person narration and personal anecdotes are important literary devices in her book. Throughout the book, Brown details her own discomfort with vulnerability, her anxieties, and her shame. In this quote, she details her discomfort after giving a Ted Talk, describing the common fear that publicity will bring criticism. In doing so, she tells the reader that how they feel is normal, but she uses her own experiences to argue that by pushing past the fear, they will become happier.